The anthology of poetry written by yours truly, S.E. Bess

  I wake up every morning, I grab a bottle of wine with only a third in it from the  night before. I grab my adidas athletic bag full of prescription pills as I sit on the  edge of my bed. Firstly, I take the opiate painkillers I’ve been addicted to for 14  years. After that I take a 85mg amphetamine pill. As to give me energy through  the day. Next I take a blood pressure medication, and then an alpha blocker as to  elevate my blood pressure from the opiates and amphetamines. After that I take  an anti psychotic called xyprexa. Naturally to stop, my racing thoughts, and deep  rooted hatred for life from bubbling to the surface. I take my anti-depressant.  Everyone is on those? Not really worth describing. And Then I take a  benzodiazapine anxiolitic to stop the cacophony of adverse symptoms from  hitting my consciousness like a cannon charge slamming into a war-torn building  or vehicle some where in Syria or Ukraine. My musc...

  Her voice dances through time provacatively. I love it so, I need it now. I receive  it, and in dire straights. I believe it. Every word that leaves her tongue and caresses her lips. I must have it. Her everlasting Her touch of lightning. It consumes me I cannot eat I cannot think I cannot sleep I have no peace. Until she speaks upon my throne of suffering. Her loving praises.

 Alright, this is a memoir from inside the bathroom. I arrived sometime between seven pm and 2am. I was very excited to have recieved an invitation to the most exclusive party ever thrown on the planet. The Puerto Rican hooker I brought along was very chatty after vacuuming a pile of crank in the back of the limousine. I did enjoy her company, and the exotic flavor of her voice for a time. Although that fondness quickly dissipated after we had arrived.  We cranked one out inside the hall closet, and I told her she had to stay in there for 30 minutes after I left, or I would refund the venmo payment. And call in a bomb threat to her hotel room. For some reason, the look of alarm on her face, and the satisfaction of smearing my spank on someone's four thousand dollar Armani suit. Made her exhorbant price well worth it. I moved quickly, living the scene of my obscenity, and into a far greater travesty.  I left the hallway and ran into a drunk woman a few feet from the...

A faint breath of a familiar haunting Song caressed my ears, I tried to follow it, and catch the goblin. Lying in wait. right beside the trap he laid. Strumming a lute, his companions, whispering a flute. They danced a jig. An enticing one, I fancy. Not far away, a rancid broth. Frothing and bubbling. Their musical spell, tickling and shoving me ever so closely. Gleefully I wish to indulge. To gorge my gullet. Full to the brim of their fanciful bowl of brew, a slew a mix of something so good and new. But alas, I know the goods they peddle the game I will not meddle upon. Could never be something so good and new. Something old and foul, rancid, a serpent lying placid. Until his time to strike his acid poison. poised in wait.  Wallowing lazily. The air grows dim, my eyes hazy. My understanding, thin, my mind spacy. Soon I will not fend. Against them. I will give 3 pence, all my  expense. To hear their song it won't be long...

I miss you, so dearly my lovely. Is it true, you've found somebody else? Is it true that you call him on your lunch break. Is it true you tell him "forever and always." "I love you so much." is it true, you let him touch you Where ever he pleases? Is it true, you met him at TGI fridays? What a lame, good for nothing Is it true?  You clean his apartment on saturday? The one his grandpa pays for, pathetically? Is it true You dance to smashing pumpkins. In the kitchen? Is it true, you fall asleep to his voice, on the phone? Is it true my love? Is it true? You let me go  forever? For that funny waiter? Well I'll be goddamned if I let you go. you'd be hard pressed to find another man like me. I guess I'm gonna have to show you both underneath his granpas willow tree.

 I miss you baby Dearly. It's hard for me to find words So I think I'll just sit here and play, guitar. My lovely, Your diamond eyes shone like stars. In the pitch black darkness of my  heart. I cry out all the time And sometimes I wonder if it would have been better had we never met. Are the memories worth it? Were those timeless nights, locked in matrimony worth the melancholy I am. Now so, intimately comfortable. Wouldn't it have been better if I'd stayed married to the bottle? To the lovely women on  Corronado. Married to the good times to the headaches and the heartache married to the bottle and the pain. Too afraid to change, to afraid of letting go of the familiar hate? It's far too easy just to drink it away and wish I was dead. Than it was just to make you happy. I should have just let you love it all away but that's my mistake. It wont be the last.

 Till death do us part yeah right. I might regret the fight we had at the time it made me glad you'd had enough and now I'd give anything To feel your love one more time I didn't mean it When I called you a whore and now I see your face everywhere I look. I miss your taste I miss your name Everywhere I go and baby I need you to know. I can't live without you. I never wanted to know Such a pain, such an emptiness I wish I could show you I'm sorry I wish I could I wish I could Show you I'm sorry Believe me baby Believe me baby What if I told you I miss you, and I love you and I never meant those things  I said hurt you.